Its been quite awile here..happy new year durlings.I trust the year is moving smoothly with us..
Well,these past months have been filled with so many interesting experiences..e.g I got called to the Nigerian Bar after 6 years of all that schooling(smh),I was also mobilized to serve my nation(answering the clarion call)..I’ve been travelling a lot too,hence the silence here…
I hope I can begin again or let’s say “continue”from where we stopped..
Right now I’m the bank(one “yeye”bank),trying to find out why I can’t carryout any transactions from my account..the queue here is something else,so I’m just sitting and awaiting my turn..
Aiyt,I’ll just stop here for now..until I come your way another time…xoxo..
So we renewed our friendship again and we where almost always seeing eachother..
Well it was few days to my birthday and I told you the only birthday gift I wanted was to see you,but somehow we didn’t see and you promised to make it up to me..hmm that promise that you never got to keep..
Rewind…Oh how we loved ourselves so much but where oblivious to that fact even when everyone around us knew of it..so many joked about how we would make a fine couple (lol) I had to explain to somany that we where not even dating..they couldn’t understand how we would be that close and not be dating..
Fastfoward…We talked for long on this night till it was midnight and said our goodnights, and then the next day I got a call that changed my life almost completely..I rushed to the hospital and sat with other friends,praying…I prayed,I begged and pleaded with God to spare your life..Then the news came that you where no more..my heart stopped beating..I became numb..I still cannot remember how I walked back to my room..Life!!!!!
Nooooo!!! My heart broke into tiny fragments..Why Lord?? I kept asking..Life didn’t make any sense to me from then again,I was always lost.. I stopped eating and living..it was as if a part of me had died..
I begged God so many times to just see your face again,but no, that answer never came..I was bleeding inside,I didn’t think I would survive..a lot of thoughts kept coming to my mind..what if we had talked about our love? What if we had given it a chance? Most especially,what if we had never renewed our friendship before you passed on??? I know I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if we hadn’t…
It seemed as if this wound would never heal and my broken heart would never mend…but gradually as days turned to weeks,weeks to months and months to years,I began to heal.. our friends where really instrumental in the healing process.,We can now talk about the times we all had with you and laugh without hurting..
I can imagine you looking down from heaven at me and marveling at the woman I have become,and I imagine you singing Dare’s song “your not the girl I use to know“..(just that line though,lolss)..You’ll be surprised at how much i have learnt over the years,my joy and pain and everything..and through the years I have carried you with me in my heart and I find myself using our friendship(love)as the standard for anyone I would ever give my heart to..
Hmmm the years have gone and even though it doesn’t hurt so much again each time I think of you,I can’t help wondering how things would have been if you where still here..
“Its been so long without you my friend,and I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again”..
To my love that was but never was…
Ours wasn’t love at first sight, just a kind of connection that we couldn’t explain. We started as friends,we would always be on the phone chatting with each other and everyday it seemed we learnt something new about ourselves..
I always anticipated your calls,so each time my phone rang and I saw the caller id with your name my heart always skipped a bit..
We would share our thoughts and talk about things we wouldn’t tell our other best friends.. We could tell what the other person was feeling even when we where miles apart..
You where the only one who could really make fun of me and tease me and I couldn’t get angry because that was one of the reasons I liked you..we had our pet names for eachother and it stuck like glue..lol.
Very soon I met your numerous friends because we where always talking about ourselves to our friends that they couldn’t wait to meet us..lol
We would fight over silly issues and stop talking to eachother,but it wouldnt last because our days where never complete until we had talked..
I still cannot understand how you could read me so well..There was this time we went somewhere and I just wasn’t comfortable(though I didn’t show it) because someone was a bit cold towards me..And later after I had gone, I remember you and asking who made me uncomfortable and I didn’t want to give you an answer and you mentioned the person’s name immidately,I was too shocked to respond..I used a question to prevent my giving you an answer and I never told you who that person was but I’m sure you knew.
We loved ourselves deeply but didn’t even know..
I remember one misundersatanding we had(I don’t know what it was all about) but we stopped talking and I told myself I wouldn’t be the first to break the silence,and we kept on till new year’s eve.. then you called me that night and said plenty things..bottomline is we reconciled..
Then the final one,we stopped talking again and I told myself that’s it,I don’t care about the friendship again..and that day you came around and we renewed our friendship,and how I thank God daily that we did because those would be our last moments together….to be continued..
I went out to see a friend today and while ‘gisting’ she said she wanted to ask me a question and hoped I won’t be offended.I told her to go ahead and she asked me if I could marry a man who was jobless and probably not even looking for a job..
At first I replied her that I don’t think I can,then later I said “NO I can’t”. She then told me about a ‘friend’ who got married not long ago to this guy who was jobless..The lady sponsored the wedding and did everything on her teachers’ salary.Before the wedding my friend and others tried to advice this lady but she kept saying that the guy was born-again,spirit-filled and a faithful lover and she was satisfied with that..Haba is that all???? How will you pay the bills, feed, take care of the kids-to-come and other things???
I believe there’s a big difference between being engaged in a menial or small-paying job and being jobless with no plans of looking for any job,and to me it doesn’t matter if ‘you’ are born-again,tongue-speaking and bla bla bla, if you are lazy,idle and not even thinking of getting something doing,you have a problem… ‘You’ are even disobeying the Scripture that says “he who does not work should not eat”…Plus even Adam, the first husband in the begining was working and keeping the garden when God brought Eve to him to be his help-mate..okay if your not working,and the woman is supposed to be your help-mate,what is she coming to help you do????
Please don’t get me wrong, all am saying is that, it is better and more honourable for a man to have something doing no matter how little before he adds the responsibility of marriage..Ladies are not exempted too,no man wants a liability,find something doing and stop dreaming that one rich and handsome prince will fall from the sky at your doorstep just to marry you..wake up sister!!!!
I cannot forget in a hurry how we(my coursemates from Uni) waited for about a year before we went to the Law School.I was so tired of sitting at home and playing “the house-maid”..
A family friend decided to introduce me to a law firm to attach myself for that period,he asked me to meet one of his staff at the office so he(the staff) would take me to the firm..
The guy was busy and asked me to sit and wait..The “AC” was working perfectly,I mean perfectly..”see me see wahala oh” with this Jos cold and my almost sleeveless top,I was trying so hard not to shiver,goose-pimples where all-over my arms..The guy asked if the AC was to strong and if he should put it off and I opened my mouth and told him”nah I’m good”..Chai!!!! People of God!! I was shivering and pressing my phone to form big girl.I started praying in my heart that God would touch the guy to just switch-off the AC or better-still that he would be done with whatever he was doing so we would go to the firm…
I cannot remember which of the prayers was answered first “sha”,all I know is that I learnt a big lesson to always tell the truth and be atleast honest with myself and others,it does not pay to form “big girl” atimes oh..I haf talk my own oh..#owk bye
So I went to church today,after being away for awhile,,and this lady who is my “sister in the lekpacious family” comes to greet me. And after the normal exchange of pleasantries,now asks”is it that your reducing or increasing”…the sharp fulani answer that came to my mouth would have left her speechless..so I just replied her that I didn’t know..
Truth is,I really get tired of people asking if I eat at all..so how am I surviving??? If one is fat they complain,if one is slim they complain….haba I can’t come and go and kill myself cos I want to add some “flesh”… I have tried,and since the “flesh” has refused to come,’toh’ I can’t ‘die myself’ oh….
So I started this writing thing on a different platform sometime ago,but I wasn’t satisfied….so here I am starting afresh..